I sense the darkness is near.

Or maybe it is just paranoia

Kerry has gone truly insane.

From his eyes I can tell he has lost all sense of sanity he had left after Anthony's disappearance. From his eyes I can tell, he was the one who killed Nat.

I do not exactly know how I know. But his eyes, I know that look. A murderer's look. A bloodlust satisfied. At least for the time being.

I do not know why he killed Nat. And I have no evidence to accuse him in front of the others.

The only one I have told is Jay. I trust he will give it thought.

This darkness is slowly pulling everyone into insanity.

Kerry, the brawn of the herd, has been slowly going insane over the loss of his brother, Anthony. His hysterics are sometimes amusing. To see a brute on the verge of a psychological breakdown. To see this beast overwrought with grief, it is almost funny.

His grotesque sobs, his pathetic cries for dear little Anthony. I almost feel sorry for him. For a man who thinks he has gone through everything and describes himself as 'as hard as nails.' I can only smile and laugh inside.

I cannot bear to leave dear Dostoevsky behind, but I cannot take with me all. I had to choose. In the end I chose 'Crime & Punishment.' Raskolnikov, my dear. In the end it was not that hard a choice.

I do not know which way we are going, and I suspect neither do the others. Their primary aim is survival. They do not care where they end up, just as long as they live through this darkness.

There is something pathetic about it. Waiting for the end of this darkness. The very notion of hope in these times is laughable. They still do not realize. Until they are free of sin and darkness themselves, the world will not be rid of the maddening darkness.

In these times of darkness, I managed to find some joy in this abandoned house. This house has its own library.

I have started to read again, after months on the run. I have almost forgotten the delights of literature. Oh, how wonderful it is to have the company of Dostoevsky and Nabokov in these times of death. How did I survive without them?

This darkness.

I believe it is a manifestation of our own darkness, inside of us. Our sins, our sinful thoughts and our sinful ideas. We are a sinful race, us humans. We have let the darkness conquer our very soul. And now the darkness is conquering the world.

What is darkness if not the absence of light? Humanity has lost its light through its pursuit of materialistic wealth and earthly pleasures. We have sinned. And we are now being punished by the Devil himself.

The group, though seemingly nice at first, all hide their own darkness deep within them. I see hate in each and every one of them. And I hate them for it. I have not talked to any of them, because they are sinful and will not acknowledge it. They think this is caused by an external force, not by their own inner evils. They are very much mistaken.

Only Jay even entertains the idea of this darkness being borne out of our sinfulness. He does not fully agree. I don't know why. It might be that he thinks he is some kind of saint that thinks he is free of sin. How ignorant can one be?

But I'll still talk to him. He is a good person. Even in this time of darkness, he still manages to give me conversations that actually do matter. The ones that stir your mind.

Forgive us for our sins. For we are ignorant and arrogant